Archbishop Jason Polland - "The Beauty Of Burning Debris"
(BNW 009 - 2001)

I Came From The Coldest Star / Desire Feels So Good When It's Wrong / Astrid The Doll Sleeps Forever / Little White Dots /
Angel Of Solitude / Prehumous Ghost / Silence / What We Leave Behind / It's Okay To Not Exist / Dream Gauze

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The Beauty Of Burning Debris (ZIP FILE)


I came from the coldest star
Floating through the frozen dust
Debris of ancient entropy
Endless solo trajectory
Icy (cold cold) dust envelops me
Curl up in the dark safety
Am I asleep, or wide awake?
Both feel pretty much the same

Floating through the endless void
Glimpses gleamed of countless worlds
Never long; it would be wrong to stay where I do not belong
Drifting unseen past forgotten gods, too small to attract their wrath
As they consume themselves in thought
Icy hopes and freeze-dried dreams

I came from the coldest star
Drifting silent in the dust
Reaching toward empty galaxies
I wish you could be with me
I have always been alone
The aether is my only home
To see my journey through the years, follow the trail of frozen tears

Hey, ho, hee, ha
Desire feels so good when it's wrong
Simultaneous, we watch the scene
Diametrically opposite points of view
You think nothing of what you just saw
I can scarcely think of anything else
With just the slightest hint of shame
I quickly indulge in my favorite game
Potentially disastrous, it must be said
Were it to exist outside my head
A modicum of wonder, I must admit
As to what could have shaped such development
Oddly enough, nothing comes to mind
Excepting, of course, my favorite past-time
So many things inside me, you'd never know
So many thoughts that plague me, but no-one knows
Feelings coiling around my throat, wrapping around my head
I like things I'm not supposed to, I like that which I ought not

Pleased to meet you, my name's Astrid
I am the doll who sleeps forever
My world of perpetual dreams shall not release its hold on me
When I walk, while I'm awake
It feels that every step I take
Could subtly transform the scene and drift me back into a dream

The world's a very noisy place
The sounds flow to and fro like waves
My ears fill quickly with the roar
At once, all's quiet, as before
When consciousness prevents retire
Daydreams fill the thoughtful mire
Flights of fancy soon unfold
When I find myself alone
I'll sleep for days without a care
Curl up and dream beneath a chair
This is my natural state, you see
When no-one's here to play with me

I am addicted to ether, I am a sleep addict
I can scarcely bring myself back to consciousness
Stagger across the room, crawl across the floor
Fade away reality, perpetual repose
Eternal nocturne nightmares, tip bottle into rag
Allow sleep to cling to nose and mouth
Abilities hibernate, talents are anesthetized
Chloroform pressed into brain, creative juices freeze
Spacious dreamland, enormous structures
Consumed by Sleep-Fire, consumed whole
Suffocating in the thoughts wound tightly 'round my head
Unable to gasp for air, or expel what is spent
A self-contained sealed system, impervious to change
Every moment growing stale by just the slightest hint
Instances of clarity seep into frenzied panic
What once was calm and quite sedate is now a straining, thrashing state
And all you see are little white dots

I am the Angel of Solitude
I have spent my eternal life alone
For the benefit of everyone
I must exist
I have met the Angel of Death
We can never be close friends
But I am obsessed with him
He fascinates me
I have met the Angel of Darkness
She waits for me in my happiest hours
Tells me what I want to hear
Whispers nothing in my ear
I have met the Angel of Innocence
Was she ever truly by my side?
I don't know
Now I only see her in my dreams
I love her
I have met the Angel of Loneliness
It is my constant companion
It has held my hand since my youth
I will never let go
I am forever the Angel of Solitude
I have seen too much with perpetually-dilated eyes
So I must wrap myself in isolation
My existence cannot be denied

I am just a ghost who hasn't died yet
(Don't say goodbye, just leave)
The delicate, shattered ones live inside me
(I love them all)
Huddled figures crouching in the dark
(They disappear)
My connexion is not severed
(But substantially unraveled)
Only fiction induces tears
(This worries me)

At some point, I made a mistake
I don't know what I am, but I know I'm not one of---
The mission was a failure, yet I still exist
Imagine a puzzle with no pieces that fit

I am wrapped so tightly that I am losing control
I make the wrapping tighter, to try to gain control

Silence, silence, like the void of space
Silence, silence, gently kisses my face
Silence, silence, civilization is gone
Silence, silence, the rarest sound of all
Is it perfection, or is it death?
The only noise that can be heard is my excited breath
Such a joy to listen when there is nothing to hear
No sounds of harm, pain, sadness, anger, sex, or fear

"Have you ever experienced perfection?"
"Tell me about it"
"Once, I went to the mountains, and there was no sound at all; it was beautiful"

I am isolated, like a robotic ghost
In a noisy world, silence is the perfect host
Even in the city, quiet can be found
But quiet pales next to silence, the purest absence of sound
Sadness fills my modern world, yet I produce no tears
Studying sound has been my passion for several million years
Noise can be organized and catalogued at home
But silence is unattainable unless you're completely alone

I've wasted so much of my life
I barely have anything to show for all the time I've been here
Time is running out
It occurred to me that we are nothing but what we leave behind
This concept terrifies me
So, I must get to work
In order to do this, everything must change
Although it makes me sad, I must eliminate that which inhibits my work
This will, no doubt, result in total isolation
As if my everyday alienation isn't extreme enough
I've sensed a shift in my perceptions
Perhaps a prolific destiny is a solitary journey
Even now, I'm not working hard enough
So I must work more, before my time runs out

It's okay to not exist
It isn't bad, it isn't wrong
I was so afraid until I realized
It's perfectly acceptable to cease to exist

Although you are here right now, tomorrow is another day
Don't worry about your archives, all documents must fade away
Careful preservation ultimately turns to dust
No matter how long you stave off decay, all will be consumed in fire

It's okay to be forgotten
It's not bad to disappear
It's okay to fade away forever
Let your fingers slip away from your fear

Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep...
Asleep for thirteen hours
Asleep for seven days
Asleep for five months and a year
Dreaming life away

When I dream in silence, oh what do I see?
Unknown terrain and concepts strange that dwell inside of me
Resist the call of consciousness submerged within your soul
Meet the creatures who would seek to absorb you whole

Safely wrapped from head to toe in semi-conscious comatose
Haze that filters out your dread, Dream Gauze wound around your head

Shrieker, Shrieker, come this way
Shrieker, Shrieker, steal the day
Shrieker, Shrieker, steals your dreams
Shrieker, Shrieker, steals your screams

Incomprehensible beauty... now it is gone
Inexplicable horror... now it is gone
Everlasting happiness... now it is gone
Love, terror, confusion... they all are gone

Never doubt the dreams of little children
Beware the dreams of monsters inside your head
Never doubt the hearts of innocent dreamers
Never doubt your worst nightmare

Dreaming through the daylight hours, my repose envelops me
Eternal nocturne consumes me whole, I am asleep
Sleep draws me in, safety in slumber, I am asleep
Hypnotized... strange creatures, unfamiliar lands
When I meet you in my dreams, do we really meet?
When my sleep is interrupted, do you still exist?
When I stagger through the day, is it an illusion?
When I finally resume my slumber, am I safe once more?

All Materials Copyright 1995-2010 Jason Polland.

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